Raincoat. Check. Umbrella. Check. Waders. On.
Here goes as I wade on into the murky dark depths of the Marriage Equality debate.
So here is my official stand on the matter. It came from a saying that did the rounds a while back when Louisa Wall’s bill was announced; “If you don’t like gay marriage, don’t get gay married”.
So I shall refer to it as gay marriage. Straight couples can get married. Gay couples can get gay married. For me, that provides me with plenty of distance to make the statements I wish to make, and retain the integrity of my faith and morals.
As a happily married hetrosexual man, I take pride in my marriage and my wife. But I walked into marriage knowing one thing; that marriage, whilst a union between a man and a woman, is made so much stronger and better with the sanctity and blessing of God. It becomes a three cord rope that binds strong.
This is where gay marriage falls down. God states that homosexuality is a sin. Just read Romans 12 (New Testament – not some OLD Testament teaching) where it says “For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error. And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper.”
It actually says that this gay marriage thing was going to happen anyway, but that God gives them over to that depraved mind, to do those things that are not proper. The moral compass has left them.
There will be those that deny God, and therefore will find all of my premise absurd. I find it hideously ironic that one of the icons of all things gay is the rainbow, which was created by God as a promise to humanity that he would never flood the earth again (Gen 9:8-17).
Now, before you all write in an slam me for my beliefs, tell me that there is no God, or throw a word like “bigot” around, hear one thing; God loves homosexuals, for they are people. God loves all people, whether sinner or a saint. Every one sins, and yet God still loves us. So much so, that he gave his own Son up for death on the cross. God however hates one thing. Sin. It’s the one thing that can come between people and Him. And so when two people, united together in marriage, are also living in sin through their immorality and sexual desire, then God can have no part to play in that.
So Gay marriage will never amount to the kind of connection through marriage that we as Christians have, because God can have no part in that marriage.
Many have found it hard to stand against this bill, because it has become popular and “right” to stand up for “equality”, and get mad when there is injustice towards those that are persecuted from that inequality. It therefore makes it “wrong” to stand against the injustice and inequality, even if you believe it to be morally wrong, such as allowing gays to marry.
My biggest concern is for the next generation. As a teacher of today, I already have seen how family has a huge, undeniable effect on students. I have seen the breakdown of the family, with many students already in broken homes by the age of 9. A lot of the time they haven’t got a balanced, loving relationship to show them how to live. Mum’s usually moved on and has another boyfriend. Dad is usually the one they watch leave, never to return. There is no denying that the breakdown of the family has already begun – long before this “marriage equality” thing came along.
But I’m yet to see any convincing arguments that a child brought up with two dads is going to grow up to change the cycle. I’m not worried for their formative years, but more for their teen years when they are working out who they are and how they fit into this world, all whilst having to put up with the likely bullying that will follow them most of their school days. How will they break away from the fact they have two dads or two mums?
It sickens me when decisions made by adults are made that damage children when they have no choice in the matter. Things like drinking whilst pregnant, or divorcing someone because of their post-natal depression.
My point is, it takes a balanced relationship to raise a child. There’s a saying that to see how a man will treat a woman, you look at how he relates to his mother. If you want to see how a woman will be the best for her man, you look at how she acts around her father. I’m not sure how that will continue to work if a son has no mother to learn how to treat women. Or a daughter who has no father to know how guys should treat her. Don’t get me wrong, it’s as much a problem for a broken home as a gay marriage with an adopted or surrogate child. But for that child of a homosexual relationship, it’s a guaranteed issue that will occur.
There is argument for the existence of a “gay” gene. That gay people do not have a choice in their sexuality, but that they were born that way. That it is some kind of genetics. But let us consider this for a brief moment. If it is a genetic anomaly, then why are we trying to set the standard of “equality”. See, if there is a gay gene that somehow makes itself apparent in the offspring of two hetrosexual people, then it is an abnormality. It should then be in the same basket as asperges, dwarfism, or down-syndrome. And from all of my dealings with these, the word “fair” is more apt. See, being equal is telling everyone to run around the 400m track. Being fair is allowing the person in a wheel chair to use their arms to power their chair around the track. So why is equality such an importance? No doubt it probably stems from apartheid or black slavery, where the people afflicted were not treated as equals, and so they fought for their equality. This is probably as close an argument as it comes. However, being black is not a genetic disposition. You can’t be black and have two white biological parents. And so, the ‘gay gene’ which has to be labeled as an anomaly as it comes from two hetrosexual people, is a physical defect, and so equality is not a word that should be thrown around. Fairness, yes. Equality, no.
There is an additional problem with the ‘gay gene’ hypothesis.
God, creator of all living things, created man in his image. He created woman from man, to keep him company as it was not good for man to be alone. Now, why would God make a ‘defect’ in his creation that would allow a man to sin by being with another man beyond his own control? No. He wouldn’t. He didn’t. He didn’t create a gay gene which would leave an individual no choice but to be gay.
No, what God did create was the ability for man to do one thing. Have a choice.
Adam chose to sin. Sin entered the world. Cain killed Abel. And countless more. Including making the choice of a man to be with another man. Including making the choice of a woman to be with another woman.
So we see in creation that being gay is not something you are born with and have no control over. Instead we see quite the opposite. Just as choosing what to eat at a buffet is a choice, engaging in homosexuality, however many excuses you want to make, are still a choice.
The family portrait is no doubt going to change. And many of us have no choice but to stand by and watch it happen. Change is often hard to accept, and even harder to do.
I don’t pretend to have all the answers. But I do have my beliefs. No doubt some of you don’t believe in God and will tell me I’m delusional. You’ll point out that there are all sorts of problems with the Bible, but ignore the historical and spiritual significance of such a book.
I ask those that rave about ‘equality’ but hate on the opposers, that if you’re all for equality you should respect both opinions.
As I stated at the top of this post. For me, the issue can be completely separated out from what I determine marriage to be. I can categorise it as gay marriage, but I won’t support gay marriage in any case. Obviously, the bill passed and has now become New Zealand law, and so if you want to be juvenile and be a bad winner – yes, you have won. So there is little point in this post, other than for me to have my thoughts written down.
Gay marriage won’t change my marriage.
It won’t change the love that I have for my wife.
It won’t change my love for God.
And it won’t change my faith in Christ.
But I will stand up and make sure that I do the best for the people I know, whether they are children, male, female, heterosexual, homosexual, black, or white; that this is what it is, and will be what it will be, but at the end of each glorious day, whether you’re straight of gay, God has the whole world in His hands, under his plan, and in His control. I will continue to trust and have faith in Him, knowing that in His love and grace, that He has already conquered all sin.