Dowsed in His Spirit, I felt a steel rod go down the centre of my being, grounding me. I saw the picture of a carving knife slicing down my spiritual body, cutting away the fat and stripping me down to just the bare-bone essentials.
The words of Matt Redman’s song rang out from the temple.
“When the music fades, and all is stripped away, and I simply come…”
Over the years of service to the church in worship, I had built up fat around my heart. I had begun to add on the pounds of critique, boils of bitterness, kilo’s of cynicism, and plenty of frustration. I had begun to judge songs; whether they were being played right, the order of how I thought they should go, and the frustration with the direction they were going at that time. I had got stuck in my ways. I had put too much emphasis of what I wanted in the music, the sound, the song.
This morning God was busy carving off all of that. Hunks of unhealthy fat were dropping off. Stripped back to the bare bones of what worship is. The core of my heart exposed, I found what the true heart of worship is.
“I’m coming back to the heart of worship, its all about You, Jesus…”
It’s not about me or what I want, or how I would like the song to be played. It’s not even about the songs or how theyre sung. It’s not about if I get the lead riff right or if someones harmony missed the beat. It’s about being worshippers within yourself, within your heart, and how you bring that and give it to God.
And with that, the rod that impaled my very core felt secure, strong, and comforting. It was something I could hang on to. Something that centered me and kept me firm as the troubles that plagued my worship were cut away.
The journey is not yet complete. I continue to struggle inside, and like a dolphin breathing, I have to purposefully remember to let the worship be pure without any of that fat clinging on.
A new prayer on my heart will hopefully remind me. May we not be musicians and singers. Instead, may we be worshippers.