Where do I start? …. Maybe later you might be asking when will I stop!? But I hope to keep this nice and short. A bit like Stu really.
As all boys with brothers know, life is a constant competition. Doesnt matter what it is, we’ll find a way to turn it into a competition. Its not the same as girls, as lets face it… Blokes being blokes have to beat other blokes. There are only ever to outcomes being competativd with girls…
1st option – You beat a girl at something – big whoop.
2nd option, and less desireable option – Girl beats you at something – an eternal life of shame awaits. You thought nagging was bad… Just wait til a girl beats you at something. You’ll never hear the end of it. It’s easier to just not get in any competative situation with girls.
One that Stu might want to remember…
Stu and I are no different to any other brothers. Well, when i say no different… One of us is a bit different … But our competitiveness stretched to everything. First to wake up on Christmas morning; first to get ready for school in the morning; first to get to the front seat of the car; first to finish their dinner.
For us it seemed to be who could be best at sports mostly. Best at cricket in the backyard… best at basketball in the front driveway, best at indoor bowls down the hall, best at darts, table-tennis, and pool in the garage.
All of these, through one way or other, my little brother ended up being better than me.
Better at taking a three point shot, better at cricket and can play indoor as good as anyone, better at pool, darts and table tennis. Even indoor soccer he has an edge on me these days.
But my bitterness is much wider than that. It extends beyond just being better than me at something…
First to ride a motorbike – Stu.
First to go down a firebreak on a bike -Stu.
First to stay overnight on a camp – Stu.
First to shoot a gun – Stu
First to drive on a race track – Stu
First to sky dive – stu
First to be remembered by old teachers – Stu.
First to get his own car – Stu
First to get a full time job – Stu
And of course, what we’re all here for, first to get married – Stu.
But there is one thing I am quite happy with. It is one thing I have beaten him to. One thing he can never take away from me…
I’m the first one to be the Best Man.
Stu never really had much of an interest in History. Whilst many of us are able to see history for what it was, and possibly learn from it… Stu sees it as a big mistake that would be rather forgotten about so we can get on with our lives. After all, why write out a love letter by hand when an email is perfectly suffice? Who cares about how you had to wash clothes by hand by the river when a perfectly good washing machine is doing 1000 revolutions per minute. Who cares about how you used to walk to school…. In the snow… For miles… Uphill both ways, when a green mazda 626 will do just as well…Who cares about a trip to disneyland that you can’t remember, when Micky Mouse can be seen on TV… It is a small world after all…
But I do hope, for Nicola’s sake more than anyone that Stu will remember this day and will be able to cherrish it with many fond memories.
30th January, 30th January, 30th January…
Although we said that about his 21st and as we found out today, he can’t remember any of that now either…
So please charge your glasses. From the Best man to The best couple, hope you have an awesome life together, with each other and with God. Don’t forget your friends and family because they will be the ones standing along side you, and helping you out at bingo when we’re all old and grey.
So here is the toast to the bride and groom… To the bride and groom….
